Patron Is The Devil And Just Desserts
by mel7190
Summary: Cupcake Christmas fluff and some revenge on Ranger for his poaching. A short story inspired by Gina! Enjoy and Merry Christmas Cupcakes!


A short story full of Cupcake fluff and revenge on a poacher. Inspired by a post on OHC by Gina! Enjoy! **Spit Take Warning**

**Patron Is The Devil And Just Desserts**

I woke up tangled in sheets and wrapped in Joe's arms. I snuggled back against his hard chest.

"Mmmm…Good morning, Cupcake," He mumbled still half asleep but awake enough to start running his hands down my body making tingles shoot to every limb.

I rolled over and kissed him. "Good morning, Joe." I felt happy and satisfied. Some of it was due to the mind-blowing, multi-orgasm sex we'd had last night. But most of it was the amazing evening we'd spent at the Policemen's Christmas Ball. I'd worn a gorgeous red dress I'd found that was long with a slit up the leg that hugged my body in all the right places. I thought Joe's eyes would bug out of his head when he saw me in it and it was all I could do to keep it on before we got to the party! Keeping my dress on was made even more challenging by Joe's silk suit and red silk shirt, picked out by me. He looked edible and we'd exchanged bone-melting kisses the whole way there! The ride home was just as hot and we started shedding clothes well before we got back to Joe's house. We'd made out hot and heavy in the car, just inside the door, on the stairs, in the hall and then finally made it into the bedroom.

Joe was awake now and he continued to kiss me moving his mouth down to my neck, then to my collarbone, done to my breasts and then slowly down my stomach…Shazam!

An hour later we showered together which involved more fun until the water went cold and we had to get out. We toweled off and both got dressed.

"I need to go to my apartment to feed Rex," I told Joe.

"Okay, I'll come with you and we can grab some Boston Creams on the way back." He said with a smile, kissing my forehead. I smiled back thinking Joe was just about perfect. Or at least perfect for me.

The past few months since I'd gotten back from Hawaii had been wonderful. Joe and I had finally had a real conversation about our relationship and shockingly enough there had been no screaming or arm waving. Even when we discussed my feelings for Ranger and my fear of marriage, Joe had been amazingly understanding. He told me he loved me and wanted me to be happy. He wanted to marry me but more than that he wanted an honest commitment. I finally realized how immature I had been about our relationship all along. I promised that he would be the only man in my life and that I was committed to making it work. I was going to give up my apartment for good once Joe got his income tax check and added a second bathroom. A girl's gotta have standards!

We headed out the door and went to my apartment. We walked in and I walked over the counter. "Hi Rex!" I said, peeking in. I put some food in his cage and he snuck out, grabbed a piece, wiggled his nose and went back into his soup can.

"I'm going to grab a few things," I told Joe heading for my bedroom. He sat on the couch and clicked on the TV.

I opened my bedroom door and what I saw made me let out a shriek! Joe was at my side in an instant.

"Stephanie, what's wr…" Joe trailed off as he saw what had made me scream. On my bed was Ranger-naked. And he wasn't alone.

"Grandma Mazur?" Joe choked out. We both stood there with our jaws hanging open. Ranger stirred. He looked up and saw Joe and I and jumped.

"Uh…" he said. Then he looked to his left and saw a very naked and very wrinkled ass hanging out next to him. A high-pitched squeal came from Ranger and he jumped back so far he fell off the bed! Joe started laughing and I elbowed him. He managed to get control.

"What the hell are you doing naked in my girlfriend's bed Manoso?" Joe demanded.

Ranger got himself together and stood up. Then realizing he was naked, grabbed a pillow and covered himself.

"We had a Christmas party at Rangeman last night," he said, "I did too many Patron shots." He looked again at Grandma Mazur who was beginning to stir, "Way too many."

"That doesn't explain how you ended up here." Joe said. He was starting to get angry.

Ranger took a deep breathe, "I let myself in to see Stephanie. I thought…"

"You thought you could just climb into bed with me?" I screamed. "Uninvited? And after I told you no more poaching, no more games?" I was angry now too and I could see Joe's jaw working. Grandma sat up just then, looked at us and then at Ranger still standing next to the bed with the pillow over his privates.

"Woohoo!" She screamed, her saggy body giggling obscenely, "I finally got some from Ranger!"

"You know I love her but I think I just threw up a little in my mouth" Joe whispered to me. I couldn't blame him. Grandma was all loose skin hanging from a skeleton.

"Grandma, you need to cover yourself." I said handing her a robe. She put it on. "And what are you doing here?"

"Oh I had a hot date last night and since I knew you wouldn't be home I thought I'd bring him here. Only I went for his package in the cab and he had a heart attack! I was bummed but figured I'd just stay here anyway." Then she smiled, "Guess it was my lucky night anyway since this hot stud showed up!" She reached over and spanked Ranger on the butt. All the color drained from his face.

"I'm going to tell you once and for all Ranger, stay away from my girlfriend. Stop breaking in her apartment, stop tracking her and if I find you in her bedroom again…"

"He speak for you, Babe." Ranger asked trying to look tough but not quite pulling it off holding my pink pillow in front of him.

"Yes," I told Ranger, "And stop called me 'Babe' too. I'm with Joe. Enough with your games." My voice was calm and it felt good to say it all in front of Joe. Besides, I was totally disgusted not only that he'd climbed into my bed but that he'd banged Grandma Mazur! And thought it was me? Geez, how drunk had he been?

"I'm tempted to beat the shit out of you," Joe told Ranger his eyes slid over to Grandma Mazur, "But maybe you've been punished enough already."

**The End**

Merry Christmas Cupcakes!


End file.
